“Since studying criminology makes me batman, I am going to have a full out batman costume underneath my grad gown, and when I get my diploma handed to me, I’m going to rip off my gown”
— Megan
“i just thought of something. the recession is like… an extended jew holiday. because it’s their excuse to not spend money. ‘ADAM! i can’t get you anything for your bar mitzvah. there’s a recession on. have some bikkurahs’”
— Megan
Swiss Like to Rain on Polanski's Freedom Parade
- Malcolm: if i was a girl, i'd be a whore
- Malcolm: maybe that's why i'm not a girl
- Malcolm: i'd also be begging for polanski's dick if i was a 13 year old girl
- Megan: you'd be on that shit like the swiss are on good times
“When your butt gets stuck in a really squidgy toilet seat. That’s what love is. Because you’re stuck. And it’s tough times, but you secretly enjoy it. And the memory… stays with you forever?”
— Jasmine on analogies
“Love is like a bowling ball. I always have to swing it between my legs to get it down the alley.”
— Megan on analogies
we love crime.
- Jazz: You beat people and steal their money and do organized crime and shit. I love crime. I hope CSIS isn't watching this convo. Not that they'd do anything if they were.
- Jess: lmfao
- Jazz: They'd just be like "Shit, another terrorist. I wish we had some working marine ships to ward these guys off."
- Jess: BAAAHAHAHA
“Michael Phelps was fast because he smoked weed which slowed down everyone else in his perception.”
— Megan
- Ciara: "no, but twice in my car, in the parking lot b4 hockey practice. once in an suv, in the trunk...other time in the driver seat.....lmao"
- Ciara: what an idiot
- Megan: i don't want to call shotgun in his car
- Ciara: LMAO
- Ciara: or trunk
- Megan: probably jizz's in it before games to keep his hands warm
- Megan: like sticking your hand in pudding
- Ciara: moisturizer
- Ciara: i swear he does it so he wont get hard during hockey in the change room
- Ciara: why else would he
- Megan: "oh steve... your triceps are looking tight today.... hey, want to lace up my skates?"
- Ciara: "ill help you with that cup"
“I went to FearFest and all I got was the manager telling me ‘it’s Halloween Haunt’”
